The wrong bus

A drunken man hops on a bus and staggers inside and sits next to an elderly woman. She looks at the man, with her eyes looking contemptously at him and says "You, my friend, are going straight to hell!"

The wrong jumps out of his seat and screams "Oh no, I am on the wrong bus!"

Whales

Question: What is the difference between a small blue whale and a great white whale?

Answer: Size and color

Have you lost five dollars?

A small boy goes up to a man and asks him if he has lost a five dollar note. The man takes out his wallet and says "You know what; Yes I did, why? Did you find one? The boy replies "no, I just wanted to check how many people had lost five dollars today. You are the 35th so far".